Monday, September 19, 2011

Sunday, August 14, 2011

now about Absalom's hair...

if all we do is feed our flesh and forget about feeding our spirits and our inner being, then we should not be shocked or unhappy or surprised when the repercussions come visiting, because definitely they will come. This life is not all about eating and drinking and making merry, there is another side also, the spirit, or soul or our consciousness. Why am I being this philosophical???? go spend five hours in a typical naija general hospital and you'll see why i'm sounding so spiro spiro and all. I just got home from one such, and I tell you, this life is not all we make it to be.
Today I was blessed to watch TBN which I hardly do, and the pastor was using Absalom as an illustration to teach about sin and its consequences, the oh so handsome, buttered, looking son of King David. Bible describes him as good looking, from his head to his feet, no one spot or blemish, or dirty or yeye mark on his skin according to the writer of the book of Samuel ... hehe and then his famous hair, which was cut only once a year. THE GUY WAS FINE!! see hair!!! long and thick and flowing with shinning skin on top again! kai!! Bible says whenever he cut his hair which was at the end of the year, he would weigh it!! u can imagine that. I'm sure if it was today Absalom would have made a fortune selling his hair, i can just imagine two Island chicks bantering over which hair to buy in a shop...
''Me its carribean hair i want to buy, aunty funmi's hair is no longer in vogue,''... and the second girl will go...
''Babe its Absalom hair i wannna buy, 20 inches, its shiny and thick and full, not like peruvian at all...'' Hehehe, not to small thing.
So in all of Fine boy Abby's good looks and rich background, and too much money,Fine boy Abby had pride and hatred and big eye, which finally led to his death, and what helped in killing him?? his famous hair. How Ironical.
Absalom was escaping on a horse from his father's soldiers, and without realising it he ran right under a tree forgetting that he had not cut his hair that year and bham!! it happened.His long hair got caught in the leaves and branches, while the horse continued galloping away at full speed leaving its rider dangling from a tree like a doll on a broken swing. Hmn what a sight.
Moral of this gist?? Sin. Sin and again I say Sin. When that little nagging voice in our mind tell us that what we just did is wrong, that is sin. Sin leads to death its as easy as that, one little sin if not checked and stopped, will just keep on growing and growing and getting bigger till eventually it will kill us. It will give us pleasure no doubt and look all glamorous and okish and allrightish, but eventally, its real colors will show. God help us all in Jesus' name. Amen.
So poor Fine Boy Abby died a bad death and where I come from he wouldn't have been buried, because his death was a bad one. He just died like that, leaving his three handsome sons and a very beautiful daughter behind to mourn him. I pity for him sha, but what can i say?? I learnt a lesson from his mistake. May we learn from other people's mistakes and pray that terrible things do not happen to us for other people to learn lessons from.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

and more hilarious situations!!!

The absolute best Little Johnnie joke ever!!

Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born
without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their
house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby
had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything
about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the
smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he
understood completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said,
'What a beautiful baby'.
The mother said, 'Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.'
Johnnie said, 'He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute
little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?
''Yes', the mother replied, 'we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20
''That's great', said Little Johnnie,'cuz he'd be fucked if he needed



Her Diary
------------ ------
Dear Diary,

My husband is acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long and I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so, I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk; he agreed but he kept
quiet and seemed kind of absent minded. I asked him what was wrong - he said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love U,too.' When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distan. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is gonna be a disaster.
___________ _________ _________ _

His diary
Today Manchester lost the final match Against Arsenal.



A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. This being a big event,the
girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go
out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has
never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some

The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He
tells the boy everything there is to know about
protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the
family pack because he thinks he will be needing it, this being his first
time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's house
and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for
you to meet my parents,
come on in.''
The boy goes inside and is taken to the
dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers
to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in
prayer, with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no
movement from the boy. Finally,after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to her boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were so religious.''
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a

got this from a hilarious blog.... hehe

A fool and his money............Na guy man best friend
A friend in need..............No go meet me for house
A penny saved.............Na half a penny tomorrow
As you make your bed.............Na so you go lay your mat too
Don't cry over spilt ......Akamu
Early to bed and early to rise..........Na Ministry you dey work be that
If at first you don't succeed..........Make you use another passport
From frying belle
When in Rome.............No do as Bini babes dey do oo

Who no know, e go know
He who lives in a glass house....... Na im pepper rest
A stitch in time...... .. dey prevent further tear tear.
Birds of the same the same mama born dem.
One good turn.... ..... na correct power steering be that.
A bird in hand...... . wetin e wan be again if no be barbeque.
Half bread....... ... is better than puff puff.
Journey of a thousand miles....... o'boy carry your car go o
He who laughs last........ na mumu. Why im no catch the joke at the first
time and laugh when others dey laugh?
The patient dog........ Na hunger go kill am.
All work and no play......Na banker be dat
All play and no work...... Abeg na real life be dat. After all, u no see as
u dey happy wen dem declare holiday???

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Friday, July 29, 2011

this precious gift called life

16th june,2011.
noticed some strange rumblings and pains .

10th july,2011.
headaches and pains intensified.

18th july,2011.
hospital, prepped up for cholecystectomy (big word, removal of stones in bladder)

22nd july, 2011.
had the surgery done and stupid stones pulled out.

26th july,2011.
home sweet home. stooped,hunched,slouched and sad.

0ne week after surgery.
still slouched but smiling....and blogging.

This precious gift called life.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Whistling away....

...whilst the evening breeze whistled,
...and the whistling pines whistled,
...all I craved was a whistling whistle whistle away my wrinkles,
...and all of Life's ripples.

.....miniquotes have to want to do it. it isn't going to be easy. if you are rowing, you couldn't cross the ocean in one day. so stick with it and keep going...

......put God first,listen to your parents,cut off all negative friends. you've got to sacrifice,learn from others' mistakes and find yourself a positive mentor. and never give up....

......continue to pursue your dreams, and trust God to guide you..... is not a walk in the park, but if you can focus on the positives in your life versus the negative,great things will happen....

.......when we worry about tomorrow, we block today's sunshine with tomorrow's cloud.....

Thursday, June 30, 2011

and planking comes to Nigeria.

As usual, there's nothing that doesn't get to this great country of ours!! finally planking is here!
Honestly, the first time I saw the word planking was in a tweet from don jazzy, and then I saw it again and again on other people's tweets, before the pictures came flooding.
Planking is a game where you lie straight, face downwards and arms straight by the side, actually imitating a plank, and someone has to take a picture of you and post to the internet.
Its been on the news, CNN, SKY and other international magazines, since most times it results to the lose of lives as people compete to plank in the weirdest, bizarre and most times dangerous of locations.
Hmmnnn.... and this silliness if I may say so has found its way to Naija, although it came late, cos it started in 1997, and first became popular in Britain, before it began spreading to other parts of the world, but its here, and trust us,we're on fire!!
Pictures and more pictures and more more pictures of naijas planking on way too funny locations are flooding the internet, and here's a pic of my favourite so far...
Hehe.. what can I say?? I love my country..

Saturday, April 9, 2011

ABC of true happiness....

Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives or action.

Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.

Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows and happiness with.

Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may and good things will find you. the roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way

Explore and experiment! the world has much to offer, and you have much to give. Everytime you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.

Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

Leave the childhood monsters behind, they can no longer hold you down or stand in your way

Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.

Journey to new worlds, new possiblities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new everyday, and you'll grow.

Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follow the harshest winter.

Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is your heart, there's room for endless happiness.

Manage your time and your expenses wisely and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.

Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible and always, your kindess and understanding.

Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

Never fogrt to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.

Questions, ask as many as you can, because we're here to learn.

Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.

Share your talents, skills, knowledge and times with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over

Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent thats wasted has no value. Talent thats used will bring unexpected rewards.

Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for the as well.

Work hard everyday to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.

Xray the hearts of those around you before trusting,judging and yielding.

Yield to committment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.

Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rear its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

There!!!! you have it!!!! read, practise and enjoy!!!!

Portharcourt things....where will u press ya hand??

Good morning folks
So everyone is outside casting their votes and I'm inside updating my blog. Last i checked ,i promised to update on my trip to portharcourt, and like i was saying that town has really changed for the better.
First of let me give a big kudos to Governor Rotimi Amaechi to whom this feat is attributed to. Driving down nta mgbuoba road like some two years ago and you'll regret what brought you to portharcourt. The dirt and mud and sunk cars will literally send shivers down your spine. It was really that bad. But that's no more, instead now there are dualised roads with little green trees in the middle. Trees!! hehe, talk of trying to be abuja overnight!
Then I was saying I couldn't recognise elelenwo street on new g.r.a. There used to be this very famous video club, Thrills, that we all wanted to rent movies from and ''feel among''. I asked and was told that Thrills Video Club had long disappeared. In short everything had disappeared, to be replaced with newer correct and up to date buildings that will also soon disappear. That's life.
Moral behind the story: Nothing is permanent, but change is constant ..... live your life, make someone happy, Smile a lot, Do the best you can and fret not for what's not within your reach.Because at the end of the day it will all pass away, to be replaced again, and again, and again. That's the circle called life....
Sooo... in the meantitme y'all dont forget to go out and press ya hand on the umblerra, cos broom and corn wont save you on that rainy day.....*winks*
One love ...

Monday, March 14, 2011

PortHarcourt Rocks!!

So I actually have nothing to blog about,but i will blog.i must blog.i shant not blog!! Haba!! what happened to the zeal, drive, and as some would say mojo??? Last I checked it was January and already its March..... and i really didnt drop by????? SMH at myself.
Recently i took a very short vac and visited the city i grew up in. The almighty PortHarcourt City. Everything had!!!
I couldnt recognise any of the streets, modern and state of the art buildings were everywhere, i passed elelenwo street twice and had no inkling i was on elelenwo street, i couldnt find Figaro, Barracuda, or even the very popular Tobyjug..........
Ooops duty calls, and once more i have to say goodbye to my laptop.. oh the life of a blogger.{na who send me?} I'd complete this gist later. I promise. One love y'all!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

fashion 'pouts' et al

Today I want to talk about ''The Pout''.
Maybe it's a fashion trend, maybe it's not but one thing I know for sure is this: girls of nowadays pose in pics like they just got stung on the lips by tse tse fly!! and I hear this latest trend has a name ''The Pout''. Hia!! nothyn we no go see for dis our generation!!
So, back to the gist, I noticed this trend when I first got a blackberry, I noticed that almost all the female display pics on my chat list had one thing in common, the girls pushed out their lips before their pics were taken.It didnt strike me as odd at first , not until this day when this particular babe changed her display pics about six different times, and in all of the pictures she posed as if her lips just got stung. And that was when it hit me. Something was happening here.
So I began paying more attention and realised that it was indeed a reigning sontin...Gone are those days of the macleans smile that won you awards!! Out with the smiles and in with the pouts!!.
So please I am asking ohh... why do so so many girls make those duck faces in pictures? What do guys think when girls pout in pictures? What's just up with the pouty pics these days??? and its not just with the younger women, its with all class of women, fashionistas, school gals, working class girls, etcetera.
Well ride on babes. It's just something I noticed and decided to make some noise about it ,If anybody knows the answers to those questions I put up please don't fail to hit up the space.
Below are some pics of 'The Pout''. hope you likes.....*winks*

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Lol!! I do love this country!!!

So there's something in Naija called"Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria" (WITZAN). Definietly one of the most ridiculous and absurd organization i've heard about. Anyways this organization just warned aspiring presidential candidate, Alhaji Atiku, to withdraw from the election contest ASAP in order for him not to be humiliated.They are also claiming that they warned late MKO Abiola about june 12, but he was stubborn, so they dealt with him. They also claimed to have dealt with late Abacha too for executing Ken Sarowiwa....hehehehehe (all i can do is laff!!)
Anyways below is just part of a memo from the organization:

The National Co-ordinator, Witches and Wizards Association of Nigeria (WITZAN),

“About six months ago, long before General Ibrahim Babangida decided to enter the race for PDP’s presidential ticket, witches and wizards told him that he was wasting his time. We told him in clear terms that he would never secure PDP ticket, and that he would drop by the wayside. This was reported by some national dailies. What eventually happened to IBB? He was humiliated. He who has ears, let him hear very well, witches and wizards do not double-speak. We are messengers from the spiritual world, and anybody that disobeys us, is doing so at his own risk.

“When we warned Babangida to stay away, that he was going nowhere, some of his agents told us that we are fake witches. That Babangida has other witches praying for him to win PDP’s ticket. From what happened to Babangida later, we now know who are genuine and fake witches.

“Witches and wizards are also stakeholders in the project called Nigeria.

“Jonathan’s victory is assured and sealed in the spiritual world, but he will face many challenges. He should not be afraid. He will conquer his opponents. Witches and wizards are praying for this nation. We wish Nigeria well, but what has been revealed to us in the spiritual world is alarming.

So there you have it!!! you either read and have a good laugh or you read have a good scare and run 440 to the nearest pastor!! hehehehe!!!

facebook about to say goodbye.. for real???

Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook will be shut down in March. Managing the site has become too stressful he says.

“Facebook has gotten out of control,” says Zuckerberg ''and the stress of managing this company has ruined my life. I need to put an end to all the madness.”

Zuckerberg went on to explain that starting March 15th, users will no longer be able to access their Facebook accounts.

“After March 15th the whole website shuts down,”

“…if you ever want to see your pictures again, I recommend you take them off the internet. You won’t be able to get them back once Facebook goes out of business.” said Avrat Humarthi, Vice President of Technical Affairs at Facebook.

Zuckerberg said that the decision to shut down Facebook was difficult, but that he does not think people will be upset.

“I personally don’t think it’s a big deal,” he said in a private phone interview. “And to be honest, I think it’s for the better. Without Facebook, people will have to go outside and make real friends. That’s always a good thing.

Those in the financial circuit are criticizing Zuckerberg for walking away from a multibillion dollar franchise. Facebook is currently ranked as one of the wealthiest businesses in the world, with economists estimating its value at around 7.9 billion. But Zuckerberg remains unruffled by these accusations. He says he will stand by his decision to give Facebook the axe.

“I don’t care about the money,“ said Zuckerberg in the Conference. “I just want my old life back.”

The Facebook Corporation suggests that users remove all of their personal information from the website before March 15th. After that date, all photos, notes, links, and videos will be permanently erased.

Well March 15th is just 65 days away so let's just wait till then and see what happens.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

...And the winner is..

So yesterday I was having a serious conversation with my 14 year old nephew concerning his addiction to facebook, and his phone kept on beeping and interrupting. When I couldn't stand the interruptions any more I shouted '' Junior!! what's going on with your fone?? it's not even a blackberry but it beeps more than one!! and he goes ''sis, u haven't heard of 2go?? it's what those of us that cannot buy a blackberry use to feel among na, all my friends in class are on 2go'', and he goes on to tell me all about the free mobile messenger chat known as 2go, how it makes him and his peers feel like they were using the blackberry chat and 'pinging' each other. Hmn! Na Wa!!
How do these children manage to keep up with their school work?? with so so much distractions everywhwere!! Facebook! Twitter! Blackberry! Naija Music! and the latest one i just heard 2go!! ( I hear just as you crave for more followers on twitter that's how you crave to have more stars on the 2go, the more stars you have the more popular you become. wahala! )
What ever happened to homeworks and assignments and reading groups?? Today all a J.S 2 student has on his or her mind is to make sure that they 'belong', to make sure that they are never caught without their 'swagger' and to make sure that they are always on 'point'.
What are our parents doing?? ( I am not yet one so maybe I shouldn't be judgemental) how can a boy of 13 years bring his trousers down almost to his knees and on his head is the mohawk or the 'galala' haircut as we call it down south,begging his mum to buy him the 'geek' glasses??
Well can I blame them? I really do not know what's happening but this new wave is really taking over the whole world and trust Naija our teens are proving they cannot be left behind. But even the bible says too much of honey is not good, we should please discourage our teenage brothers and sisters still in secondary schools to face their studies and spend less time commenting and posting pictures on facebook, following all the celebrities on twitter and hustling for more stars on 2go. ( I tried downloading the 2go software to my blackberry but its not applicable . Na wetin? u wan shout?? na today I finish secondary school??) Peace y'all...

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Welcome 2011!!!

Happy new year folks!
So 2011 is here and just yesterday it was 2010. wow, how time flies! Last year was a beehive of activities in our own dear country Nigeria, and for those living in diaspora and not wanting to come back home, believe u me, its not all about kidnaps, power outage, corruption and all. Our country also boasts of beautiful landscapes, friendly neighbours, colourful traditions and festivals,diverse mouth watering dishes and lots lots more.
I have in my collection sights and sounds from last year of which i am about to gleefully share, some are eye popping while some are downright hilarious.Enjoy
and btw, i promise to spend more time posting more pics about naija and slack less. *wide grin*

the Nigeria@50 celebrations

president jonah was blessed last year by daddy g.o

and the sad deaths, the just blooming Dagrin

and the late mr. president

the famous 'yakubu miss' at the 2010 world cup

to the 'i wanna have nicki minaj's look by force' trended last year. hehehe