Sunday, August 14, 2011

now about Absalom's hair...

if all we do is feed our flesh and forget about feeding our spirits and our inner being, then we should not be shocked or unhappy or surprised when the repercussions come visiting, because definitely they will come. This life is not all about eating and drinking and making merry, there is another side also, the spirit, or soul or our consciousness. Why am I being this philosophical???? go spend five hours in a typical naija general hospital and you'll see why i'm sounding so spiro spiro and all. I just got home from one such, and I tell you, this life is not all we make it to be.
Today I was blessed to watch TBN which I hardly do, and the pastor was using Absalom as an illustration to teach about sin and its consequences, the oh so handsome, buttered, looking son of King David. Bible describes him as good looking, from his head to his feet, no one spot or blemish, or dirty or yeye mark on his skin according to the writer of the book of Samuel ... hehe and then his famous hair, which was cut only once a year. THE GUY WAS FINE!! see hair!!! long and thick and flowing with shinning skin on top again! kai!! Bible says whenever he cut his hair which was at the end of the year, he would weigh it!! u can imagine that. I'm sure if it was today Absalom would have made a fortune selling his hair, i can just imagine two Island chicks bantering over which hair to buy in a shop...
''Me its carribean hair i want to buy, aunty funmi's hair is no longer in vogue,''... and the second girl will go...
''Babe its Absalom hair i wannna buy, 20 inches, its shiny and thick and full, not like peruvian at all...'' Hehehe, not to small thing.
So in all of Fine boy Abby's good looks and rich background, and too much money,Fine boy Abby had pride and hatred and big eye, which finally led to his death, and what helped in killing him?? his famous hair. How Ironical.
Absalom was escaping on a horse from his father's soldiers, and without realising it he ran right under a tree forgetting that he had not cut his hair that year and bham!! it happened.His long hair got caught in the leaves and branches, while the horse continued galloping away at full speed leaving its rider dangling from a tree like a doll on a broken swing. Hmn what a sight.
Moral of this gist?? Sin. Sin and again I say Sin. When that little nagging voice in our mind tell us that what we just did is wrong, that is sin. Sin leads to death its as easy as that, one little sin if not checked and stopped, will just keep on growing and growing and getting bigger till eventually it will kill us. It will give us pleasure no doubt and look all glamorous and okish and allrightish, but eventally, its real colors will show. God help us all in Jesus' name. Amen.
So poor Fine Boy Abby died a bad death and where I come from he wouldn't have been buried, because his death was a bad one. He just died like that, leaving his three handsome sons and a very beautiful daughter behind to mourn him. I pity for him sha, but what can i say?? I learnt a lesson from his mistake. May we learn from other people's mistakes and pray that terrible things do not happen to us for other people to learn lessons from.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

and more hilarious situations!!!

The absolute best Little Johnnie joke ever!!

Little Johnnie's neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born
without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their
house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby
had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything
about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the
smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he
understood completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said,
'What a beautiful baby'.
The mother said, 'Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.'
Johnnie said, 'He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute
little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?
''Yes', the mother replied, 'we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20
''That's great', said Little Johnnie,'cuz he'd be fucked if he needed



Her Diary
------------ ------
Dear Diary,

My husband is acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long and I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so, I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk; he agreed but he kept
quiet and seemed kind of absent minded. I asked him what was wrong - he said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love U,too.' When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distan. Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is gonna be a disaster.
___________ _________ _________ _

His diary
Today Manchester lost the final match Against Arsenal.



A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. This being a big event,the
girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go
out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has
never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some

The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He
tells the boy everything there is to know about
protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the
family pack because he thinks he will be needing it, this being his first
time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's house
and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for
you to meet my parents,
come on in.''
The boy goes inside and is taken to the
dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers
to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in
prayer, with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no
movement from the boy. Finally,after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to her boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were so religious.''
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a

got this from a hilarious blog.... hehe

A fool and his money............Na guy man best friend
A friend in need..............No go meet me for house
A penny saved.............Na half a penny tomorrow
As you make your bed.............Na so you go lay your mat too
Don't cry over spilt ......Akamu
Early to bed and early to rise..........Na Ministry you dey work be that
If at first you don't succeed..........Make you use another passport
From frying belle
When in Rome.............No do as Bini babes dey do oo

Who no know, e go know
He who lives in a glass house....... Na im pepper rest
A stitch in time...... .. dey prevent further tear tear.
Birds of the same the same mama born dem.
One good turn.... ..... na correct power steering be that.
A bird in hand...... . wetin e wan be again if no be barbeque.
Half bread....... ... is better than puff puff.
Journey of a thousand miles....... o'boy carry your car go o
He who laughs last........ na mumu. Why im no catch the joke at the first
time and laugh when others dey laugh?
The patient dog........ Na hunger go kill am.
All work and no play......Na banker be dat
All play and no work...... Abeg na real life be dat. After all, u no see as
u dey happy wen dem declare holiday???